We recently returned from a trip to Alaska and I swear some snow demon took over my son while we were in the wastelands of subzero temperatures. He has been so down in the dumps, cranky, whining, and just plain unpleasant since we set down back in Washington. I can't figure out how to excise this horrid attitude from him. I've tried Motrin to rid him of the temper the demon puts in him and it seems he has been sleeping enough to be classified as hibernating but with all his waking moments he is almost unbearable. Well, perhaps it's only the waking moments when I am home that he acts like this because his father, who is home with him all day, hasn't said anything about his piss on the world attitude. Or maybe it's just me???
I walked into the house from work yesterday and he was smiling and happy. It was so great to see him so chipper and excited to see me. You know, that warm fuzzy, I am loved feeling? That's when I made a mistake. I set him down to go start making dinner and the wailing started. By wailing I don't mean a small mewling, mommy that hurt my feelings noise, I mean full out sirens blaring, someone is cutting off my nose and bending my fingers back at the same time wailing. So I picked him up and he was happy. That made me feel oh so good but now I had a dilemma. Dinner wasn't going to fix itself and I had a 20 lbs blonde appendage. And for those who don't know me, I'm packing around enough 20 lb pockets for this to be a problem. Not just the extra libs but also the fact that I am essentially a solo armed chef now. Ever tried chopping a clove of garlic with one arm? Not an easy task. So the idea comes to me to set Kells on the counter and make a mad dash for the chopping block, which is directly next to where Kells is sitting and block his hands with one arm and somehow chop the garlic with the other. He is having great fun on the counter so the demon is obviously dormant at this moment. Then he picks up a piece of garlic and pops it in his mouth and gives me the most what have you done to me, blech, head shaking, shoulders shuddering looker ever. I pick him up and decide it's time to let my arm have a rest and take him to dad so I may proceed with dinner. The MOMENT I walk through the doorway into the living room Kells knows exactly what my plan is and starts with his wailing again. This time directly into my ear. I'm still not sure my eardrum has recovered.
So, toting the possessed child back into the kitchen I continue with dinner. What a GREAT night to choose fettucini alfredo with sauteed chicken for dinner. It actually didn't turn out too bad to tell you the honest truth and I am hoping Kells may get an appreciation for cooking if we end up having more moments like this. Either that or my biceps are going to be enormous and my ambedextrious ability will get even stronger. There is always a silver lining.